We all struggle to maintain a balance of personal power when working with other people. But when dealing with difficult people, sentiments tend to lead the way and we personalize the matter. We get hooked by their actions. Whether in organizations, at work, or even in our family, we all bump into people who are not easy to get along with.
Learn about differences between people. There are lots of personality typing systems. You can learn about who you are, the way you are, and then you can start to understand why others are the way they are. There are actual psychological justifications why people act the way they do. When you know this you can respond and become objective with reason instead of natural feeling which might make you desire to fight or flee.
People normally respond to those who understand their outlooks. You can do this by declarations such as, “If I understand you correctly…” or “I can see your perspective on…” Persuading the other individual that you see things in a similar way minimizes tension.
People want to be heard. They want to know that you care and that you understand the reality. In general, people don’t help those who emerge to be against them. During a tense circumstance, it is tempting to avoid eye contact, interrupt or disagree with the person. Build trust by using your body language to listen fully. And summarizing key facts shows that you understand them.
People have a reason or a purpose behind their behavior. They are trying to meet an unmet need. When something does not happen the way they want it to happen, the person’s behavior becomes more difficult, or extreme. Working to understand the enthusiasm behind the actions is vital.
There is little difference when people have the same main concern or goals. Problems occur when you have different fears. For example, if someone values getting the duty done rapidly and fears that a deadline won’t be met, then they may be controlling.
If a co-worker is on a tight of deadline, then stay brief. If a co-worker wants more social contact, then prove you care by chatting a bit longer. Whether you work with a complainer or a know-it-all, adapting to their style gives you the edge.
Adopting one or a few of these strategies might make your day at the office a little more bearable!
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 at 9:18 pm and is filed under The Power Of Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.